Mentoring Women Leaders
Okay, let’s be clear. There are many myths about women in business, especially women in Project Management. Myths about our willingness and ability to be leaders, about the number of women already working in Project in Leadership positions or ready for a leadership role, and myths about what’s holding them back. We all are part of the solution. Read on to find out more. And get my free downloadable on the myths, the truth and what you can do to make a difference.
Why Leadership and Mentorship go together
Great Leaders enable Great Teams.
Leaders build the future workforce
Leaders can resolve the inequalities
Mentors benefit from getting involved and making a difference
See my video on the 5 Skills to build a great team to get started
If Leadership mentoring is good for all, it is especially good for Women Leaders and Project Managers: Why?
Because Women face obstacles and bias that men don't face. Just Google ‘myths about women leaders’ or ‘myths about women project managers’. You will get dozens of articles written by both genders addressing this point. Women have been working within a landscape that has held them back, passed them over, and worked to minimize their efforts. The data shows that the situation has not materially improved for a decade.
In addition, many of the online articles don't address solutions—potential improvements to the situation. Finally, these articles are often rich in anecdotes but poor in data-driven information. I want to focus on the data and the practical solutions needed to make change happen.
Mentorship can make the difference between a women becoming a strong and capable Leader versus a high-potential future Leader that never gets the chance to develop.
Note: In this blog I will use the terms Leader and Project Manager interchangeably - after all, Project Managers are Leaders.
Let's review the current situation:
Need to see the HBR data that shows women outperform men in most areas of Leadership? Click here
“ Once you know better, you do better.”
What’s next? Assessment & Solutions
What Makes a good leader?
If we want women to rise to Leadership roles, let’s start by making clear what we mean by ‘Leadership’?
What does Leadership mean to you?
The action of leading a group of people or an organization, or
The state or position of being a leader or manager, or
The Leader of an organization or country.
The dictionary gives all of the above as definitions of Leader. True Leadership is a state of being - a mantle excepted to be a servant leader of a group.
A Leader has many roles - The 7 C's:
Captain of the "Ship"
Champion of the Vision
Chief Motivator
Catalyst to Innovators
Conqueror of Roadblocks
Cheerleader of Camaraderie
Conscientious truth-teller
For more on the 7 C’s and how to mentor future leaders using them: click here
“[Women are] especially likely to use words and phrases that soften an opinion or gently undermine a point in order to make others feel more comfortable. ”
In some cases, we overcome these internal roadblocks and are met with external bias:
A request for more 'power or money' made to a male boss can result in their outrage.
Stepping up in meetings can mean others feel they need to ensure we are spoken over, asked to keep our messages shorter, or, more directly, told to shut up.
Then, of course, there is actual language bias. Word use bias was well documented in 45 languages. These legacy issues impact women in the workforce everyday.
How this impacts Women's ability to Lead?
We may be hesitant to step forward. We need to learn to use language to get what we need and want.
As Leaders, we have to be clear and concise to ensure:
Project Objectives are understood
Team needs are met
Timelines and milestones are actions
Stakeholders are engaged
Roadblocks are resolved quickly
We also need to speak up for ourselves.
To ask for the job, role, or promotion.
To summarize our work results that backs up the ask.
To put ourselves forward as speakers on behalf of the Project.
To get credit for the idea, work, or result.
To control our personal boundaries, especially when we experience bullying.
Sorry, not Sorry
When we are held back by others (of either gender):
What is our reaction?
What should be our reaction?
Can we learn a new approach to change the current dynamic?
Can we practice our ideal reply to make sure we are ready when faced with the issue?
‘Word use’ is learned behavior. We can unlearn those phrases that undermine our expertise, skills, experience, and insights. Your words matter. Give your words weight and throw your body language behind your statements.
Presence is confidence to lead and the physical, mental and emotion leadership to inspire.
Presence
The impressive manner of physical, mental, and emotional space can be called Presence. It has important meaning for Leaders in many cultures. The ability to have Presence is what gives Leaders added authority. This is not about who makes the most noise. It is about confidently moving through the spaces you enter.
Did you ever notice that women literally take up less space than men? And if they don't, men will often spread out their limbs or use more space at the table or podium to maximize the space they take. Men understand this, and women do as well.
“Women [have] every right to be at this meeting, but because of their seating choice, they seemed like spectators rather than participants.”
How this impacts Women's ability to Lead?
Serious Leadership demands a level of Presence. Don't let someone steal your Presence, Power, or Position. You can project Presence by:
Sitting at the front of the room or at the end of the table and making space around your chair.
When you walk into a meeting, look up, make eye contact and smile, greet people with a few words and a handshake.
Give someone kudos for work done. Your opinion as a leader matters, so by giving genuine and positive feedback. You are also showing the room you know your opinion matters.
Be prepared for meetings, speeches, and other chances to lead. Standup and face your audience. Have data ready to back up your statements.
Don't forget to use passion when you feel strongly. Emotion is useful when you are trying to win people over. Used correctly, you can show your confidence, commitment, and belief in an idea.
Women need to cultivate the skills of Language and Presence to personify Leadership. Doing so helps to extend influence upward to management, vertically to peers, and horizontally across their teams. This capability is needed to 'carry' a project manager position.
And there is one more thing that women can do for themselves and each other. Mentorship.
How Mentorship enables Women Leaders
It's lonely at the top - especially if you are a women leader. The support mechanisms for women don't yet exist as much as they do for men (who have created formal and informal means to connecting).
So we need to step up and be a mentor for 1 or 2 people trying to break into Leadership roles.
If you are a Leader, you can Mentor:
Put yourself forward in networks where women professionals access coaching (PMI and similar organizations often have local mentorships available).
Note 'coaching' as a role or skill on LinkedIn to let others know this is important to you. If you are available to coach or mentor, say so.
If you work with Students or new Project Managers, be a source of helpful information. Share your knowledge freely, and if they ask for coaching or mentoring, offer to do so (see my blog on Virtual Mentorship for tips on how to do this).
Challenge your organizations decisions on job parity, performance vs pay data, advancement, and leadership program admittance. Be a voice for those who are not yet at the table.
If you are looking for Leadership Mentor:
Define your roles, goals, and skills (you can use my Mentoring Process to do this).
Put yourself forward in networks where professionals provide coaching (PMI and similar organizations often have local mentorships available).
Note your goals on LinkedIn. Put your ambition out there and make yourself accountable to action your goals. Look for a mentor (see my Virtual Mentorship blog for more information)
Learn as you go, bring value to your job. Showcase your leadership potential, don't wait to be offered the role (you won't unless you showcase these skills first).
If you want to learn to Lead, learn to be a great team member, first:
Be known for quality work, done on time and on budget.
Share your knowledge with others.
Offer to help when possible.
Be a positive and forward-looking member of the team.
Solutions to drive leadership change
Women have been held back for a long time. We represent half the world population, an increasing numbers of University Grads and a noticeable amount of high performers.
But our ability to take Leadership roles does not always reflect this. Leaders need to do more to right the wrongs for women and for people of color.
The right to be heard and valued is a human right.
Women's rights are human rights.
So let's do the right thing and start to change the imbalance in the workplace. And change the expectations (and faces) of our Leaders.
Leaders look beyond gender
Great teams need diversity and parity. See my blog on Great Teams. Project Managers need to be equitable. That goes for all team members. Women may need more help getting free of the issues that keep them back, but we need to use merit to determine outcomes for the teams role and responsibility assignments..
Leader need to ensure that all team members are treated fairly, celebrated for wins publicly, counseled privately when work quality or timing suffers.
Great leaders make great mentors.
Read the Research
If you’d like to read more about the state of gender bias today, click the links below.
How language shapes prejudice against women
Women more educated, yet men better paid.
Women are better leaders during a crisis
Women need to find a seat at the table
So what are your thoughts about Leadership and the 7 C's?
Did you agree with the current state of women leaders and the proposed solutions?
If you have thoughts or experiences to share? If so please do so in the comments. I would love to hear from you.
